Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Last night I dreamed of death.

I was shot. I didn't feel pain... only moments fleeting. I didn't feel my last breath. Only the sudden awareness of something lifting off of my body. Maybe this is what they call the soul. I couldn't tell where I was going but it didn't look like heaven or hell. It was just a vast expanse of nothing. It wasn't dark... it was blue. It wasn't the sky, there were no stars. I could feel my true form... crooked lips and bulkier eyes. I was bouncing in the air... I could see but I couldn't speak.

They say your entire life flashes before your eyes when you die. I didn't see anything. My death was seamless. It didn't feel any different to me except that I couldn't touch anyone. I was just there... an entity that could still go anywhere, do whatever. The clock hadn't moved any faster.

I didn't feel hunger, I didn't feel thirst, I didn't feel the want for human touch. I didn't desire the pleasures of the flesh. I was feeling just as I would feel on a normal Monday morning when nobody would be around me.

It didn't feel like it was the end. Death just felt like... life. My life.


Eccentricallyquirky said...

you know probably death is the same as life is.. with its share of joy and sadness.. the desire to be there and yet wanting to be free from it all..

drmedhus said...

I find your blog both insightful and comforting. My son recently committed suicide and has communicated with us in many ways. This inspired me to write a blog as well: Channeling Erik: Conversations with my Son in the Afterlife. ( It is my hope that, with the help of a talented medium, a book can come of this. The goal would be to, with Erik's help, elucidate and demystify the death process, the nature of the afterlife, the survival of consciousness after death, reincarnation, how thought creates reality, and the quantum physics behind all of it, among other spiritual matters. I hope to help those who are bereaved, those who fear death, and those who are curious to understand the bigger picture. Healing others seems to be important to my own healing process. Please keep up the good work. Your wisdom is sorely needed in a world that yearns for spirituality and a deeper understanding. xoxo Elisa

Gymnast said...

I think you have the same bug as i do. Pretending to be 78 when you're 22.

Now is when you write of the yellow sun and beautiful blossoms and lovely rain and the sea..

Not of dreaming about death and wondering about the calm and numbness after you leave this world.

And what hit me worst is the last line.

My life ?

You take it too seriously.

You're like a calm lake , here , i throw a stone..let me see some ripples.

BloggerMouth said...

Eccentric - Yep. Why make a big deal out of it when you don't know what ensues.

Elisa - You've left me humbled. You're very strong willed and I hope your son is in a happy place. What I have in my head can't be called wisdom - that's for the enlightened. My head is filled with chaos.

May the energy of what's supreme, be with you.

BloggerMouth said...

Gymnast - LOL, my friend there are ripples now and then... I am human after all. All the ripples are in my head though. It was a dream, nothing more but thinking about it, it was no different than life. No joke.

Pesto Sauce said...

Death is a numbing experience but somewhere it must be comforting also

You write well so please dos o often

BloggerMouth said...

Thanks Pesto. Good to see you here =)

!Teq-uila Del Zapata said...

it can't really be death: but that is just my theory.
you see I have seen or experienced things that leads to death in my dreams, but never ever did I see my self dying and just at the moment i am about to die, i wake up and always wake up. I once experienced a big hell of injury in my leg in dream and to my surprise, when i wake up, I felt a sudden numbness in my leg and I stumbled and almost fall down. So our brain is quiet capable of turning thoughts around and making the body feel the thoughts.

BloggerMouth said...

Tequila, it was life :)

Brosreview said...

We all know life ends with death, and yet we all run or pray for the only certain thing in this life to not happen. Funny!

Nevertheless, I have been in your shoes, both in dream, and YES IN REALITY AS WELL.

But, it is sad that you correlate the blandness you felt or rather dreamt to your existing life. Hmm. That is sad.

I hope all is well.

Keep writing!!!

Kertz said...

Did you really have this dream???

If yes its awesome! Dreaming of death is a good sign ;)

PS: 37 followers... *sigh* :|

BloggerMouth said...

Bros - I don't correlate it. It just hits me. I don't even try and understand what my dreams mean.

Kertz - Lol ty for reading :)

Brosreview said...

In that case, good on you! Your tone sounded as if you were correlating it. Thanks for clearing that up!

aditya said...

Heyy .. Been on the road for a while. So could not read any of you.

"They say your entire life flashes before your eyes when you die."

It reminded me of American Beauty. Some of the best scenes I have ever seen.

Death. Waiting for it to be cleared up. In in a dark room the bottom of a tumbler clouded by the turbulence of a vodka shot.

Waiting for it to be cleared up.


BloggerMouth said...

American Beauty... one of my fav movies. And beautifully written too. Appreciate it. Thanks

joaquin carvel said...

years ago i watched a guy die in the street from a gunshot. it looked like it hurt. and he looked scared.

i like the way it goes down in your dream better.

BloggerMouth said...

I wish so too, for the sake of the guy you saw, for the sake of the guy I saw go through the same thing and for the sake of everyone who dies.