You probably shouldn't read this post if you already think I am nuts. If you don't you shouldn't read it anyway because you will soon think that I'm nuts.
OK you've decided to read this then... don't hate me and don't say I didn't warn you :-|
Sometimes when I look at the sea of faces that I am surrounded with, I feel like I don't belong. Everything is superficial. When I see a thousand people walk, I see thousand stories. They walk like puppets. I feel like a puppet too sometimes. I feel like there are invisible strings attached to our bodies... someone is tugging at them, controlling what I should do, what I should think and feel. I fight this "puppeteer" all the time. But I don't think a lot of people do. Everybody just wants to tolerate everything. Be a witness but never testify to anything. KNOW that something isn't right but push that feeling so far back into their heads that it doesn't resurface at all... So they can live without guilt, without remorse, without tension.
Why do people discuss other people? Isn't there enough for a person to ponder about one's own self? About the vastness of the labrynth that this universe is... about how you *know* that you're part of that labrynth but you can't place yourself save your life? Why are thoughts limited to things that are direct, empirical? Isn't there anything left to feel beyond our senses of touch, sight, taste, smell and sound? Why can't everyone just be content with their own conscience? Why weigh and measure that of the others?
I just must be going insane but I don't care because I'd rather be insane than a puppet with a head made of wood.