Saturday, January 2, 2010

Cluttered mind in a cluttered body

You probably shouldn't read this post if you already think I am nuts. If you don't you shouldn't read it anyway because you will soon think that I'm nuts.

OK you've decided to read this then... don't hate me and don't say I didn't warn you :-|


Sometimes when I look at the sea of faces that I am surrounded with, I feel like I don't belong. Everything is superficial. When I see a thousand people walk, I see thousand stories. They walk like puppets. I feel like a puppet too sometimes. I feel like there are invisible strings attached to our bodies... someone is tugging at them, controlling what I should do, what I should think and feel. I fight this "puppeteer" all the time. But I don't think a lot of people do. Everybody just wants to tolerate everything. Be a witness but never testify to anything. KNOW that something isn't right but push that feeling so far back into their heads that it doesn't resurface at all... So they can live without guilt, without remorse, without tension.

Why do people discuss other people? Isn't there enough for a person to ponder about one's own self? About the vastness of the labrynth that this universe is... about how you *know* that you're part of that labrynth but you can't place yourself save your life? Why are thoughts limited to things that are direct, empirical? Isn't there anything left to feel beyond our senses of touch, sight, taste, smell and sound? Why can't everyone just be content with their own conscience? Why weigh and measure that of the others?

I just must be going insane but I don't care because I'd rather be insane than a puppet with a head made of wood.

9 comments:

RachelW said...

I don't think you are nuts at all! :-)

BloggerMouth said...

Thanks Rachel :)

Brosreview said...

People like to peak into others lives and use them as examples to improve or ridicule. This is how it is and it has been. Sad, but true.

Umm, so, no, you are not nuts.

BloggerMouth said...

People use people, true. What has become of this world? Thanks, Bros.

Eccentricallyquirky said...

people disgust me at times... they live in the ephemeral... talk, character assasinate, ridicule mock and we fall prey to such things fearing what the judgement of the world would be... its sickening...

BloggerMouth said...

Eccentric, you just echoed my sentiments perfectly.

Gymnast said...

Yes, i so wish people would just stick to their own business and i so wish i could wipe some smug puppets off my from the face of earth.

joaquin carvel said...

i've heard it said that great people discuss ideas, average people discuss things, and small people discuss others. so maybe that feeling of insanity is what emerging feels like.

BloggerMouth said...

Gymnast - Yaeh. Killing some people *should* be legal.
Joaquin - Whatever it is, it feels great being out of the shells.